Funny Instagram Bios

‘You have only got one chance to make a good first impression’ is just one quote that sums up the importance of the bio. Although some may say it’s not about the outside but the inside that counts, I’m afraid that isn’t true for Instagram. If you want to draw people into your page, you need to make a good impression instantly.

One of the ways you can do this is to make people laugh. People love to escape their boring everyday lives in search of something funny and if you can provide this with a funny Instagram bio, it shows that interesting posts can be found within. A good way to find such funny bios for Instagram is to search for ones that already exist. However, search no more! We’ve done all the searching for you and have an awesome list of funny Instagram bios.

Here is Gramlike’s funny Instagram bio list:
  • In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
  • Some people are alive only, because it’s illegal to kill them.
  • I shouldn’t be allowed to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I’m drunk!
  • Math: Mental Abuse To Humans
  • Whenever I have a problem, I just sing, then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.
  • Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football.
  • Super cali swagilistic sexy hella dopeness
  • Is it bad I’m constantly craving either cupcakes or donuts?
  • I wonder what happens when the doctor’s wife eats an apple a day…
  • Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?
  • Are you a banker because I’d like you to leave me a loan.
  • Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
  • Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.
  • It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
  • Here to serve…. the cat overlord.
  • Warning!!! I know KARATE and few other oriental words.
  • I have not lost my mind – it’s backed up on a hard drive somewhere.
  • Have lots of hair and like ugly things.
  • Recovering ice cream addict.
  • You is kind, you is smart, you is important.
  • If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
  • You’re a 10, on the pH scale… Cuz you’re basic.
  • I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
  • I changed my password everywhere to ‘incorrect.’ That way when I forget it, it always reminds me.
  • Don’t knock on Death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run. He hates that.
  • I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.
  • I put the hot in psychotic.
  • Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
  • Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.
  • It’s very difficult to be great. Losers prove this point continuously.
  • Save water, drink beer.
  • 1f you c4n r34d 7h15, you r34lly n33d 2 g37 l41d.
  • If I’ve learnt anything from Mayans then it’s that not finishing a project is not the end of world.
  • Sometimes one middle finger isn’t enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands.
  • I will go into survival mode if tickled.
  • The fat on my body is designer.
  • Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
  • When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…
  • Life is like ice cream, enjoy it before it melts.
  • My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart.
  • I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
  • I only rap caucasionally.
  • When nothing goes right… Go left!
  • Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.
  • You’re right. I’m NOT perfect. But I’m unique!
  • A lie is just a great story ruined by truth.
  • Don’t get a woman, get a dog… They are loyal and they die sooner.
  • I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks.
  • White lips, pale face, I hate the entire human race.
  • I’m so poor that I can’t pay attention in class.
  • I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle… He’s dreaming too.
  • I looked at my Instagram photos and realized I look beautiful.
  • Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?
  • Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.
  • Trust in God, but lock your car.
  • This is my last Instagram bio ever.
  • I prefer my puns intended.
  • I work for money, for loyalty hire a Dog.
  • I’m in desperate need of a 6 month vacation… Twice a year.
  • I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
  • The strawberry shampoo doesn’t taste as good as it smells.
  • Not all men are fools, some stay single.
  • If I could sum up my life in one line I would die of embarrassment.
  • Don’t hit kids!!! No, seriously, they have guns now.
  • The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
  • Exercise, ex..er..cise, ex…ar..cise, eggs are sides, for BACON!
  • Had a really great “Night Out” last night, according to my police report.
  • I was addicted to hokey pokey but I turned myself around.
  • I ran into my ex today… Put it in reverse and did it again!!!
  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
  • Currently starring in my own reality show titled, A Modern Cinderella; One Girl’s Search for Love and Shoe.
  • Camping is intents.
  • Don’t be so happy, I don’t really forgive people, I just pretend like it’s okay and wait for my turn to destroy them.
  • I still don’t understand Twitter, but here I am.
  • Save paper, don’t do homework.
  • Nice guys finish lunch.
  • My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
  • Born to express not to impress.
  • The only thing stopping me from being pure white trash is my lack of motivation.
  • I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
  • Whenever I think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think.
  • Born at a very young age.
  • I still miss my ex – but guess what? My aim is getting better.
  • BAE: Bacon And Eggs.
  • Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
  • When I show you a picture on my phone. Don’t swipe left. Don’t swipe right. Just look.

We hope our funny Instagram bios were able to make you laugh out loud.

For more entertainment take a look at our best Instagram bios, cool Instagram bios, cute Instagram bios and Instagram bio quotes.